Finding one's "peeps"

Another Thanksgiving was celebrated in style at the Friedman household. From reaches far and wide the offspring of Fran and Hal made their way north to New Hampshire. The Leblancs were the first to arrive. Sam immediately installed himself in the living room and set up an impressive display of Transformers. I brought goodies from Wegmans in the form of fancy cheese and Serrano ham (I'm such a good jew). It's hard to compete with the Hanover Co-op food store but Wegs comes close in the cheese department. Alain quickly stashed his survival gear in the basement. Beer.

The Yoders were next to arrive; Kate showing me up by bringing actual homemade goods. Doug also came bearing provisions. He made enough caramel corn to feed the next installment of troops to Afghanistan. Caramel corn is a specialty of his family. I remember the first year he made it at the Friedman house. For the next few days we all had bits of popcorn under our fingernails. My mother, on her eternal diet was miffed at the diet's sabotage. "Goddammit Doug!" she admonished as she plunged her hand in for another fistful.

Of course Doug also brought beer thus beginning the 2009 Beer Wars. Everyone denies this exists or has their own interpretation but they are all lying. We all know it's true. Here's how it works. The men want to start the afternoon's libations but know that they will get in trouble with their respective spouses if they start on the beer too early so instead of getting themselves a beer they offer each other one. This has to be done in the presence of the recipient's spouse because in addition to avoiding conflict with their own spouse it is a lot of fun to piss off each other's. Here's an example:

Doug: Hal, can I get you a beer?
Hal: (a slight pause, but then not wanting to be impolite) Ok, sure.
Fran: Jesus Hal, don't get sloshed by dinner!

Endless variations exist. I like the subtlety of getting one of those really big bottles from the microbreweries and offering to split it because it's "too much" for one. Very slick. (A note, everyone was very well behaved at dinner).

Thanksgiving dinner itself was its usual array of splendor. Granny Franny did it up to perfection despite the huge crowd this year including the neighbors. The chickens (Mom's not a fan of turkey) were moist, golden goodness. The mashed potato made excellent nuclear reactors. What, you don't do this? What can I say, we're into our 40's and my brother and I still make 3 Mile Island out of our mashed potatoes. It's easy. Make a big well, pour in a lot of reactor coolant (gravy). Cap off the top with more potato. Done. Ugh! Reactor core breach! Evacuate the plate! Delicious.

Everyone was having fun. Everyone could barely walk from eating. The kids were well behaved. Daniel, the newest addition's every move was followed closely by a gaggle of adoring cousins. On Saturday morning when we were scheduled to leave I decided completely ruin the festive air by taking a side trip to the emergency room and getting myself admitted for three days with another partial bowel obstruction. Tube down the nose, not quite enough pain medicine, heparin shots in the belly. All was well and is well. The obstruction relieved on its own. Alain took the kids home on Sunday and I flew home on Tuesday. Still doing fine.

This was my fourth run in with this particular problem. My mother cornered one of the gastroenterologists at the hospital who is a long time family friend and said, "Bob, what can we do about Beth?" (or something to that effect). Bob, aka Dr. Cimis launched into a detailed description of radiation enteritis. What the problem was (stasis and bacterial overgrowth) and how to fix it (low dose antibiotics). The reason I'm feeling better than before is because I've been on antibiotics all week. My doctor here doesn't know anything about this. In fact, I've done my own review and didn't find any mention of this kind of problem. If you recall I'm also a doctor; I know where to look. Three cheers to Dr. Cimis!

This post was meant to be a tribute to Bob but since it's getting long I'm going to sign off here and write my tribute on another post at which point you'll understand the title. Just in case you need to get back to your online holiday shopping.

Dr. Bif